Creating a Fear Avatar: How to Turn Fear Into Your Greatest Asset

Let's talk about a scary 4-letter "F" word, shall we?

Any guesses...?

It's FEAR!

Almost had ya there, didn't I?!

Fear (with a capital F) is that thing that is holding you back from doing the big, frightening stuff that could create epic changes in your life and your business.

It's the thing that makes your palms sweat, your stomach do flips, and your heart race anytime you dip a pinky toe outside of your comfort zone.

But we don't have to let Fear control us.

We can learn to turn Fear into a friendly sidekick - someone (or something) that has our back during the greatest challenges of our lives.

That thing we turn to, even lean on, in times of great discomfort.

How the heck do you do that?

By creating your fear avatar!

How to Create Your Fear Avatar

An "avatar" is an icon or figure that you will create to represent your Fear.

The deeper you go to establish your avatar's personality traits, likes and dislikes, drivers and pain points, the better this technique will work.

Here’s how to do that in 3 easy steps:

#1 - Think of Fear As a Person

Fear is that friend who sulks sullenly in the corner as you make plans to meet a new acquaintance for coffee.

She’s the Debbie Downer who begs you not to go to the party because you might not know anyone, or you might not have anything to talk about, or you might wind up stuck in a corner by yourself while a group of cool kids gives you the side-eye.

Fear sulks in her hoodie, burrowing further into the couch cushions while chewing on her cuticles, whenever a potential customer fills out your website’s contact form.

Sound familiar?

#2 - Give Fear a Name

Now that you recognize Fear, give her a name.

For me, Fear is named Gretchen (no offense if this is actually your real name).

Gretchen is my ride-or-die companion. She is my #1 fan.

But she is also a real drag whenever I get an opportunity to do something super cool.

Like skydiving.

Or bungee jumping.

Or sharing my message on stage at a conference attended by hundreds of smart, successful people.

That’s when Gretchen puts out her hand and squawks, “Noooooo!”

Because Gretchen’s number one priority is to protect me from harm.

Why?

Let’s ask old Merriam-Webster:

Fear (n): An unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain, or a threat.

So...your fear avatar (Gretchen, in this case), cannot decipher between a situation that is merely uncomfortable and one that is truly putting your life in danger.

Those butterflies in your stomach will do the same flips whether you’re nervous to speak into a microphone or jump out of an airplane at 14,000 feet.

(For the record, I’ve done both. And that damn Fear presents itself the exact same way).

Here’s how to cope...

#3 - Get Friendly With Fear

Now that you recognize Fear for all of her brilliance and flaws, you can manipulate her...

By turning her into your trusty sidekick.

Whenever you feel Fear rear her ugly head, recognize her, then tell her to sit the F down.

Elizabeth Gilbert brilliantly talks to her Fear on an imaginary road trip in the book Big Magic:

"You're allowed to have a seat, and you're allowed to have a voice. But you are not allowed to have a vote. You're not allowed to touch the road maps, or suggest detours. You're not allowed to fiddle with the temperature. Dude, you're not even allowed to touch the radio. But above all else, you are absolutely forbidden to drive."

Fear is forbidden to drive. Always.

Once you name Fear, and get familiar with her silly tricks and displays for attention, you can control her.

You can tell her, “Thank you!” when she warns you that taking the shortcut down that dark alley by yourself is a terrible idea.

And you can tell her, “It’s okay, I got this, girl!” as you walk into your boss’ office to ask for that well-deserved raise.

There is no wrong way to develop your Fear avatar.

The first time I did this exercise, my Fear came to me in the form of a familiar Disney character (as mentioned in the video above).

In order to get comfortable with Fear, you must get friendly with her. 

By giving her character flaws, a personality, and a name, you take her power back. You turn her into your Robin, which allows you to still suit up as Batman whenever an awesome (but scary) opportunity arises.

Interested in learning more entrepreneurial Jedi mind tricks like this one? Join us in the Magic of Marketing Facebook group!